Happy 10th Anniverary!

Wow, who would have thought I would have received Cancer for my birthday AND our Anniversary! Man, I am one lucky chick. I kid:) We had planned to do a great couples vacation, just us for a week, somewhere relaxing, this is a huge milestone although 10 years has felt like 2 because we do have so much fun. Cancer has derailed us but this just gives us more time to plan our trip and we will be so grateful for it once it gets here!




To my dear hubby, you are always making me laugh and without your wit and love I don't know how I could make it through right now. You are helping me deal with the guilt of not being able to care for my children like I want to. Quite frankly you have become quite a Mr. Mom, I am very proud! I am a walking zombie and an emotional wreck and you understand. We have had so many great times over the years and tough ones too. I'm surprised you haven't bailed due to my health at this point, you are a keeper, my love, for sure! Our luck is not great but we laugh about it and it's good for the sould as we say. We have each other and that's what matters right!

Know that I will always cherish every moment we have had together. Your commitment to my happiness never goes unnoticed and I hope that I am reciprocating as I should because you deserve it. I love you more than words and am looking forward to many many more years together!!

XOXO,

Jaimie

The Big C

As everyone knows by know, I am being treated for Stage 2, Grade 3 Infiltrating Ductal Carcinoma. Aka...invasive Breat Cancer. I was diagnosed on August 23rd and had my bilateral Mastectomy on September 23rd with Axillary Node Dissection. I had 3 tumors on the right breast and 4 positive lymph nodes.

Things have been rocky, I am trying to stay VERY positive but some days are too much to handle. I want to thank everyone for their outpouring of love and generosity. It truly does bring out the best in everyone.

I am in for two operations next week because I am having complications with infections along the incisions. I start Chemotherapy November 5th. It will be a 16 week regimen and then I will do 6.5 weeks of Radiation. After Radiation I will have my permanent breast implants put in (I currently have tissue expanders that they will fill every other week with saline once my infection clears). After the surgery I will have another surgery to remove my ovaries so I can start hormone blocking therapy, Tamoxiflen. I will hopefully, fingers crossed, be well before my kids are out of school for the summer.

I am dreaming of an amazing vacation and spend my sad times looking up beautiful beach vacations. We are thinking Hawaii, Turks & Caicos or the Virgin Islands. A whole week would be great for our 11th Anniversary. For all updates, I try to update at least once weekly you can find me at http://www.carepages.com/Jaimie_Spring_Cancer_Journey

Love,
Jaimie

My DRAMATIC Weekend...

I have to vent somewhere, why not the blog? This could have possibly been one of the worst weekends in history for me...
It began with the end to a raging 3 day migraine that I managed to not have to go in for IV meds (in hindsight I should have went in the first place)...I was finally feeling better, yay it's going to be a fab weekend....
THEN....the weekend started....
Friday goes something like this...dog chews up 2 pool noodles in the yard into about 3,000 pieces, I have to clean it up so Landon doesn't eat them. Next Landon has some serious diaper blowouts, 4 to be exact, during the day and a blood red diaper rash that he screamed and kicked everytime I tried to put on cream. Then, my whiny daughter who is very close to approaching "tween" age demands spaghetti o's because she is BORED and hungry. I open the can a voila slice open my finger. It gushes for about 10 minutes then I'm good. Can't get any worse right?? Well it can, my dog then decided a toad would taste good, I catch her before she eats it but it's too late to prevent the insane foam at the mouth, rabies looking discharge she had coming from her. It was DISGUSTING...I haven't had a dog in years, never seen this happen, didn't know what to do and we watched her and she was fine after she downed about 2 full bowls of water and a bowl of food. Good night for friday.....
Saturday....it's gonna be a good day today, couldn't get any worse than yesterday right, WRONG. I give the dog a bath and decide (based on my Mom's advice by the way) that I am going to trim her nails. She jerks her foot, I cut too far and she starts GUSHING blood. It WOULD NOT STOP. So, I call the emergency number and find out what to do and she is eventually better after a little over an hour. Our backyard now looks like Freddy Kreuger had his way. Jim and I decide to go to dinner, kids stay with my Mom. Mom is in the other room on the computer with Lindsay and the boy somehow gets out of the front door and is hanging out in the neighbors lawn. Good think the Lentz' (our awesome neighbors behind us) were taking their kids for a walk and found him as my Mom went looking for him. He is OK but we are not, anything could have happened.
Tomorrow is Sunday, PLEASE PLEASE grant us a nice day with no drama, pain, poop or runaway children:) Thank you!

Our New Doggy Friend!

Well, we did it. We got a dog! We have been considering getting a new furry friend to be a companion to Landon and Lindsay and had decided on a Chocolate Lab. We didn't expect to get one quickly but my Mom found Ruby on the internet and she lived with a great family who just didn't have time for her. We brought her home today and she is a doll! Landon has not quite bonded yet but we know they are going to be great friends. So here are some pictures of our new beauty!

Happy Birthday Landon!!

Happy Birthday to our sweet boy who turned 4 today! You have amazed us this year kiddo and we are SOOOOO very proud of you. You have become quite the ladies man at school, always hugging on your teachers and aides, you love them all:) I won't get started on Mr. Al who hangs out with you on the bus and keeps you safe. Good thing because you had your first accident in the bus this winter.
We moved to a new house with you in mind and we definately made the right decision. You love your backyard and playing with the neighbors, you are really coming out of your shell. You LOVE swimming now, great because last year you HATED water period!! Terrified you when we tried to take you to the Dells which ended up being a huge wash. You are doing great in swim lessons too, a natural kicker and I have a feeling you are going to be my little fish.

You do still keep us on your toes, still putting EVERYTHING in your mouth and constantly up to no good. It gets worse with the taller you get, you are one busy boy. You do love trying new food now and are a lover of all fruit which we are so happy about. The mess you make with it, not so much!!

We can't wait to see what strides you make next year my sweetest most handsome boy ever! We love you more than words could ever say. Here's to another year of happiness and FUN!

Love,

Mommy & Daddy

Congrats to the St. Legers!!

Congrats to Mandy, Nick and big sister Addie (and doggie Deuce) on the arrival of Avery Vivian at 9:38 pm last night. She weighed in at 8 pounds 12 ounces and is 20 inches long. Can't wait to meet the beauty!

Hysto Drama!

Well it wouldn't be my style to go in, have the hysterectomy, and be healed like a "normal" person 4-6 weeks later so the following events don't surprise many but I figure I should update everyone anyway, at least for a good laugh if nothing else.
So 4 weeks into recovery I am still in horrible pain, taking the heavy duty narcotics daily. My doc has me come in and I have a raging infection along my vag (I will shorten to make it less gross) cuff. This is the lovely "barrier" they make when they remove all your lady parts. Apparently mine doesn't want to heal so I got an ultrasound and an internal exam (pretty comfortable, NOT). I went on a 7 day regimen of antibiotics and the infection cleared pretty good but the pain has continued.
Went to see the doc again for my 6 week, she must think I am either A) a druggie or B) a whiner...and guess what, a secondary infection, this time granulation. So, as she did another exam (again, so comfortable let me tell you) she found a spot that she had to treat with silver nitrate (after of course she scraped away the infection). It should heal soon as long as my lady parts (what's left) don't burn off in the process.
Last but not least, the real kicker is that I have what is called Vulvodynia, basically my vag muscles are destroyed and I need physical therapy. When the doc tells you they are gentle, you know you're in trouble. So, I sit here burning, cramping, etc looking forward to next weeks "therapy" session. If the past few months are anything similar it's going to be a GREAT time! Oh, how great to be a woman!

Happy Birthday Lindsay!

Happy Birthday to my baby girl. I can't believe you are 7 today. I can still remember the days after you were born, spitting up and screaming all night long. We are getting payback for that now because you are such a good hearted, sweet girl. So many things have happened in your last year. We moved to a new house and you took it like a champ and have gone above and beyond at school. We think you are a science girl but you are already reading at an upper 2nd grade level and your math skills aren't too shabby either! You have really found your niche, you love horses, and so does Mommy, I have fallen for them too as I have seen you bond. I hope someday we will be riding together, our own horses! You cut your hair off and donated it to locks of love to help kids like our sweet neighbor Carter Kettner. You just learned how to ride your bike too with no training wheels, way to go superstar!!! You are doing OK in gymnastics but I don't think you are taking over Mommy's dancing genes at all, sorry sweetie:) You are a truly thoughtful and gentle girl. I think it may be from having a brother with Autism but you are so great with everyone and I get compliments all the time on how wonderful you are with ALL the kids when you go on playdates, you take everyone elses siblings under your wing too. We are so very proud of you and can't wait to see what this year brings. Maybe a Justin Bieber concert? I know you have the "Bieber Fever" as you take your own showers now and sing his songs every time. My baby is growing up!! Love You!!! XOXO

Surgery Update

It's over! Thank god! My Mom had told me, "Jaimie, it's gonna hurt, its so much worse than childbirth." I didn't believe her until I woke up and felt like I had an elephant standing on me and grinding its foot in my insides. I'm telling you, the worse pain I have ever felt in my life. It took 2 hours in recovery and 10 vials of pain meds to comfortably get me to a room. I didn't sleep for the entire night, needed pain meds every hour. When I talked to Dr. Dohr, sure enough the Endometriosis was back and everywhere again. She had just removed it all in February. It can very easily turn into cancer which is no cake walk and I have a strong family history. So, I am on day three, taking Oxycontin every 4 hours and Ibuprofen every 4 hours and it is just taking the edge off. Can't wait to feel better and play with my kids and be pain and disease free!

Lindsay & Kit

I reached my picture max on the last post so I had to post some pics of Lindsay with her Kit doll and matching outfits;)

Lindsay's Locks of Love Donation

Lindsay has done her good deed and is so proud of it! She has been growing out her hair for over 6 months so she could donate it to kids who are sick like Carter Kettner. Her friend Lauren has also donated and Manny had told me about Spa Bleu, they do the cut for free and send in the hair for you. When we first arrived we couldn't believe how nice this place was, it smelled so good and Lindsay was all about the sparkling water when we arrived. She then had her hair measured, braided in 4 braids and then cut off to send in. She wanted her hair just like her Kit doll and that is what she got. The stylist was amazing, took an hour with her to make everything perfect and even gave her some lip gloss on her way out for some extra sparkle! So proud of you Lindsay!!!
*Note, not sure why all of the pics are out of order, I am no expert on blogging so I will just leave them be:)

The Little Stinker

Mr. Landon here is still making Mommy & Daddy feed him and eats like a complete yetti at home. This includes rubbing fruit, hot dogs and anything greasy or sticky in his hair until it is just hard, so gross. He is eating pretty much anything we put in front of him which is great, this is after he makes a disaster out of it! Come to find out my little stinker is eating with a fork and spoon independently at school AND drinking from an open cup. Well Landon, we'ere onto you now buddy and some things are going to change around here, ha!

My Diva...

She says and I quote after walking up and down the room like a model, this is MY pose Mom. Think I might need to turn off America's Next Top Model while she is awake from now on....love it!

Surgery

April 8th is the day. I am having a hysterectomy with removal of ALL my good except the ovaries. Six weeks recovery time, god help me....There is light at the end of the tunnel!

Lindsay & Landon

An update on the kiddos too!
Lindsay is rockin the horse riding, she is a natural and is starting to canter next week. She rides right next to those stallions like it's nothing. I am so proud of her and it has really made her very confident and strong. She is also in gymnastics, ballet, tap & jazz. I think gymnastics is her favorite out of those but time will tell. She is doing wonderful in school, she is now reading at a 2nd grade level and her science skills are off the charts. She did her very first musical in January and is quite the performer!! So proud of our sweet girl!

Landon is doing good too. He is really developing great, know how to tell us what he wants, runs to us when we walk in the door to give us hugs and kisses and is trying tons of new foods. He is so excited to go to school every day and the therapists are also seeing many changes, all great! He is definately a handful, he wants what he wants when he wants it, period. He also in into EVERYTHING, if its in a tube he thinks he needs to eat it. We have had a few situations with lotions and toothpastes but have since replaced all doorknobs, lol!
So here are some updated pics, they are just growing up too fast;)

This is where the flashlight goes right??

Another tooth bites the dust...
Lacey one of the horses Lindsay rides, she is the pony...

After a hard day at school, he is my angel (well one of them)

What's Going On????

Well, it has been an eternity since I have posted but I have been busy and quite the slacker, better yet a little like a slug. I went in to see my doc because I had pain from what I thought was an ovarian cyst. I saw Dr. Novas who I swear is a Nazi. She told me the cyst was very small, shouldn't be causing that much pain, wrote a new birth control script and rushed me out the door. Two weeks later the pain was out of control. I went in on a friday to see Dr. Dohr and she scheduled surgery for the following Monday. She had hoped it was just scar tissue from previous surgeries and cysts but she found loads of Endometriosis. Most of it was where my pain was, imagine that...I have went to so many docs over the years and none have been as good as her. I am so grateful she took that step to really see what was going on.
My follow up apt was a few weeks ago and I must say the options I was given were pretty sucky. I could either take Lupron and go into menopause (thanks but no thanks), have the depo shot and have the Endo come back again anyways because it does cause breakthrough bleeding or have the hysterectomy. I can't take the pill because you have an increase risk for stroke after 30 when you have migraines. Soooo, after two weeks of discussions and really doing some soul searching I have decided I am done with children and am going to have the surgery. I am very nervous because I know recovery is no cake walk but I look forward to that day when I no longer have daily pain and persistent migraines (we are talking 3 to 4 three day migraines a month).
So that is what has been going on the our house, not much at all:)
P.S. One week after my surgery Landon's bus got into an accident. Luckily he was OK, I ended up putting myself in more pain because I was hysterical running up there when I shouldn't have been wanting to see my baby. Damn teenagers around here need a good beating!!!!!